Fire
by Kiyoko Usagi
Summary: Mello had his fears and insecurities but he always had Matt to protect him. What if he was confronted with those fears, and Matt was nowhere to be found? Would he lose control? Or would he learn to conquer his fear? Yaoi.


So I'm on a roll with writing recently... I hope you enjoy this :)

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Fire

Chapter 1

The rain was pouring heavily through the thunder clouded sky. Lightening flashed creating creatures from trees. The twigs clawed at the windows, beckoning for someone to let them in. Mello squeezed his eyes tightly shut. He hated storms. He curled up in a ball and suppressed a yelp as an ear shattering thunder quake shuddered the earth. He couldn't take it anymore. As he was getting up from his bed he watched in horror as a tree got struck by lightening. One of the branches caught fire. It was time to run. Mello broke out into a run down the long halls of the Wammy's House. He was searching for that one door. That one door that held his idol inside. That one person would know what to do…he…

Mello stared as L was trying to comfort a frantic Near. Near was young, too young. Mello had just recently turned nine and the crying Near was only seven. The storm was frightening him as well. Mello felt stupid. Only a baby would get scared of a storm…right? L looked up at Mello and didn't even say hello. He went right back to trying to calm down Near. Mello grew angry. He hated how Near got all the attention because he was the youngest at the Wammy's House. "There's a fire in the tree next to the house," Mello said matter-of-factly. L looked up at him with large, analytical eyes.

"Stay here with Near, I'll go tell Watari." L walked by Mello without a reassuring smile, or even a nod that everything would be okay. Mello was only a child. There was a fire outside. Would that not constitute that a child would be afraid? Near grabbed Mello's hand frantically.

"The fire! It'll spread won't it!" Mello shook his hand out from Near's.

"So what if it does?" Mello spat. Even as a child, he couldn't stand how Near always got everything. Mello left L's room to investigate what was going on. There were sirens and fire trucks outside. Mello stood there watching the scene. He didn't hear the snap…he didn't see the tree…he only felt the pain.

* * *

Mello examined his face as he stared at the mirror. He remembered when he resorted to exploding the underground mafia hideout in order to save himself. It was the only thing he could do to keep from dying…and it hurt so badly. He remembered the fire as it danced around him. He remembered the building as it collapsed under the earth causing a huge hole to remain where it once stood. He didn't think he would have gotten out…He remembered feeling the pain as the flames overtook his body…and he remembered being pulled out…by those strong, soft hands…

He tried to cover his scarring with his golden hair. His eyes glared at his own reflection. He hated his face, it was a constant reminder that Kira was still out there…

Matt stood by the door. He sighed as he heard the glass break. Mello must have punched the mirror again. He flicked his lighter on and off. He wouldn't go in until Mello came out.

Mello looked at his bleeding knuckles. He clenched his jaw tightly as he watched the blood pour down his knuckles to his wrist. Anger…he was consumed by it. He heard the silent flicks of a lighter and knew Matt was there…watching over him…like always…with those protective arms…those strong, yet soft hands…

* * *

A 9 year old Mello couldn't breath. He felt the pain of the fire as the flames licked his skin; he felt the weight of the tree crushing his small ribs. He saw someone running to him. At first he thought it was L coming to save him…but he saw the correct posture and the fluid movement; L wouldn't move like that. He saw a boy wearing a striped shirt screaming for help. He witnessed the boy picking up the tree with all his might. He saw as more firefighters noticed the commotion and came to his aide. After they got him out from under the tree, the other boy hugged him. "I'm Matt, I'll protect you from now on!"

* * *

Mello opened the door to see Matt staring at him with those unwavering eyes. He scoffed and walked away. Matt knew his companion's mood swings, and thus they never affected him. The brunette walked over to his friend and pulled out an ace bandage from his pocket. "You knew I'd do that?" Mello asked as Matt took Mello's hand and started to clean the wounds with a disinfectant.

"I suspected you would, yes." Mello watched as Matt's soft hands maneuvered expertly with the ace bandage. Matt wrapped the bandage gently around Mello's hand. "You're going to get scars on your hand if you keep doing this."

"Because I'm so worried about scar tissue," Mello spat. Matt involuntarily shrank away from Mello. The blonde pulled him back. He pulled Matt into a hug. They stayed like that momentarily. "I'm sorry; I know you're just looking out for me."

"I'll always be looking out for you," Matt said softly into Mello's ear. The blonde shivered. How could Matt make his resolve crumble like that? How could his silky voice soothe the fire burning inside him? "Do you want pizza tonight?" Matt pulled away. Out of all the humans in the world Matt got along the best with Mello. Mello didn't expect much from him. It was hard for Matt to hold conversations. He got all twitchy and nervous. He preferred for Mello to do all the talking and he'd just observe. He enjoyed observing. He learned things that way.

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Matt watched as Mello and Near were on the swing set together. L was pushing the two of them. They had smiles on their faces as they went higher and higher. Near didn't know how to kick, so L paid more attention to him. Matt saw the furrow of Mello's eyebrows. He pretended he didn't know how to kick. Matt knew that he was only pretending because the movements were jerky and mechanic. L caught notice as well. With a small smile on the great detective's face, L gave Mello a large push. Mello's face brightened. Matt could see the deep devotion that Mello had for L. He saw the unwavering loyalty and the deep desire to be accepted and cared for. Near fell off the swing and landed roughly. It took him a second before he started crying. Matt's eyes turned to slits. Near faked the fall just as much as Mello faked the disability to swing properly. L ran to Near and examined his body checking for wounds. Mello's eyes met with Near's. For a quick second Matt saw the sly look Near sent over to Mello. The blonde's jaw clenched. He stood and scoffed off, pulling Matt along with him.

"Come on! I want to do something else!" he ordered. Matt just followed. From that day on, he would just follow. For he observed that Mello had a deep desire to be a leader, and Matt would comply.

"Sure," Mello answered. Matt walked to the other side of the hotel room. He sat down in front of his computer and turned it on.

"I can't talk to them; you've got to do it." Mello rolled his eyes. He figured Matt would say something like that. Mello pulled out his cell phone and proceeded to order pizza.

*~*

The pizza delivery man took his sweet time getting to the hotel. Mello made sure to chew him out and not give him a tip. Matt literally had to pull Mello inside and gave the frightened delivery man a small smile before closing the door. "That jerk! He didn't even apologize! If this pizza is cold I'm complaining to his manager!" Matt rolled his eyes. He didn't understand why Mello was the only human he could really relate to. He understood Mello on a level that he couldn't even explain himself. They just…connected. He had once tried to mathematically explain human interaction, but he couldn't complete all the formulas. There were too many variables. Matt turned on the television to the weather channel. "I'm sick of storms!" Matt didn't respond. Of course Mello would complain about the storm…he had always been afraid of them. After the night Mello was nearly killed by a tree, storms weren't just scary-they were horrifying to him. Mello would crawl into Matt's bed at the Wammy's House and cling onto him. Matt remembered those nights trying to soothe the shaking boy. He hated storms now as much as Mello did. "We should gather up as much money as we can and head to Japan. I'll bet this damn storm isn't raging over there."

"Because the Earth is vastly too large and a storm that caliber would probably cause severe consequences to the earth and the ocean…my guess is that it's not happening in Japan, and that it is just happening here in L.A and the surrounding areas."

"You're such a dork," Mello teased as he ruffled Matt's hair. Matt loved the way Mello's rough hands felt as they lightly massaged his head. His spine tingled all the way down. He smiled up at Mello. "Pizza?" Matt took the offered pizza slice and started eating it. His focus turned back to his video game. Mello had changed the channel on the television to something less frightening to him. He smiled over at Matt as he thought back on his memories. Matt was patient with him and understanding. He even stopped requesting two beds in hotel rooms and instead asked for king sized beds, just incase a storm ever occurred; like the one that was starting to pick up outside tonight. Mello stood from the bed and closed the blinds and the drapes. He didn't want to see the storm.

"Shit," Matt stated.

"What?" Mello asked?  
"This guy is kicking my ass," Matt answered. Mello rolled his eyes. Of course.

"Are you going to go to bed soon?" Mello asked as he began undressing down to his boxers.

"I need to beat this guy before I can."

"The storm's picking up…I hear the wind." Matt took one longing look at the video game in front of him…and turned it off. He went into the bathroom and began changing into sweats and a wife beater. He still felt uncomfortable undressing in front of Mello. When he came out he saw Mello curled into a ball. He heard the gentle rolling of the thunder outside. Matt crawled into bed and wrapped his arms around Mello. The other snuggled into the embrace. He felt invincible in those arms.

* * *

Matt woke first the next day. He had errands he had to do for Mello. He picked up their bank account card and the keys to his car. He was sad about leaving his baby in L.A when they went over to Tokyo for the Kira case. He worried about leaving it alone in one of the parking garages at the airport. He walked up to his silver Audi r8 and affectionately traced his fingers along the side. He opened the door and got in. The leather practically greeted him with joy. He loved his car. He expertly placed the car in gear and exited the hotel parking lot. Matt was a fast driver, but an exceptionally good one. He maneuvered curves at speeds most people would flip their cars over going. He had all the windows open and loved the way the wind felt as it hit his face. The wind smelled of fresh rain and new beginnings. His first stop was to the bank. After taking out just enough to purchase two tickets in first class to Japan, he placed his car in first gear and immediately got up to speeds that forced him to shove it into fourth gear. His car purred affectionately and the wind twirled his hair. Driving was Matt's second most favorite hobby. If he wasn't with Mello, he'd probably be trying to be a race car driver. He went to the airport and waited in line for tickets. He observed the people walking and in some cases running by. He didn't understand them. They all…blended. Everyone looked like they belonged in the world. He felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb. He started fiddling with his gloves; pulling them on and off. He then started tapping his foot impatiently. He needed a cigarette. "May I help you sir?" Matt turned around and looked at the woman. He placed the money on the counter between them.

"I need the uh, the, I mean I need a first, well actually there are two of us so that would mean I need two tickets for tonight's flight to Tokyo Japan."

"Okay, I'll need you to fill this," the woman said as she handed him a sheet of paper for baggage claim and basic protocol for how the airport is not responsible for such and such. Matt quickly filled out the form. He kept twitching. He needed a cigarette! "Thank you sir and here are your tickets!" Matt snatched the tickets and walked out as fast as he could. The second he was outside he had his lighter in one hand and a cigarette already to his mouth. His shaking hands calmed down as he felt the fire burn in his lungs. He didn't exactly enjoy the fact that cigarettes caused cancer or the fact that he was blackening his lungs, but the cigarette acted as a wall between him and the rest of the world. He didn't have to look at people, and he didn't have to worry about where his hands were. He looked only at his cancer stick and kept his lighter in one hand, and the other fixated on the cigarette. It was the perfect wall from the rest of society. He got back to his car and looked at it with adoration. The day he was given this car; it was one of the best days of his life.

* * *

"Matt," a voice called. Matt looked though his yellow goggles at a lanky man with sleep deprived eyes and black ruffled hair. L raised an eyebrow in question. "I've got something to say to you." L turned around and beckoned with a light jerk of the head in the other direction that he wanted Matt to follow him. Matt paused his video game and followed the older man outside. The sky was a bright blue and the light breeze playfully greeted the two men. L turned to Matt as he leaned against a tree trunk. "Mello…you have a deep connection with him right?" Matt's eyes widened. What was L getting at? Did L finally pick between Mello and Near for who would take his place?

"Yes," Matt answered. He started to play with his gloves. L noticed his nervous behavior and offered a smile.

"He's reckless and too emotional. His brilliance is shadowed within his sporadic actions. He and Near have been at each other's throats ever since they met, and yet Near considers Mello to be his greatest friend." Matt clenched a fist. Mello was _his_ best friend and no one else's. "I haven't decided who I'm going to chose, but I have to leave soon. The Kira case has gotten worse and I'm leaving for Japan in the morning. I won't be here to watch over Mello anymore. But you will." Matt cocked his head to the side. What was L getting at? "I…if I die during this case, I'll need you to look after Mello. He'll be outraged and explosive. It'll be even worse considering I haven't made an official decision between him or Near. I honestly believe that they work better when they're together, than alone, but Mello's rivalry with Near and Near's inability to express any emotion in front of anyone other than myself proves that hard to accomplish."

"Just spit it out already! I know all of this!" Matt said. He instantly recoiled and placed a gloved hand up to his mouth. He had actually back-talked the great L. L laughed lightly.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't trust Mello to act rationally without me guiding him. You remind me of myself. You're analytical and steady. I would have rather of had you has my successor but considering your test scores and the fact that you allow video games to consume your life, I would think your work ethic and dedication would have faltered and you would be eliminated quickly. But you're fiercely loyal to Mello and are always looking after him. I trust that when I'm gone you'll always be there for him. If in the event of my death, I know Mello will try to leave the Wammy's House, and during that time I need you to let him go alone, but soon follow. I'm giving you this for that event." L pulled out a key with the Audi insignia on it. Matt stared at the key in awe. L was giving him a car? "I trust you. Please protect Mello, because I know he won't protect himself."

* * *

Matt looked at the key in his hand as he held it inches from the key hole. L…He remembered the day when they were notified both L and Watari were dead. Matt tightened his grip on the key. Most of the other kids at the house thought that L was distant and cold. Matt for the longest time thought the same, but Mello would always reassure him of how kind he actually was. Matt didn't believe him until the day L came to him about Mello. The look in L's eyes…it was anguish, fear and determination. L knew that there was a possibility of his death during the Kira case, and even though he knew…he still went. Matt had never really admired L until that day. L cared for both Near and Mello deeply, and worried about them. Now L was gone, and just as L predicted, Mello had left on that day…and Matt had done exactly as L instructed. He waited for Mello to get a head start…and then he followed…

Matt turned the key and the ignition purred to life. He longingly looked at the steering wheel. L's face flashed into his mind. He shook his head and shoved the car into reverse. He had to get out and drive. The world blurred as the speedometer kept increasing. He didn't care about police clocking, or red lights. He kept going. _'L…you knew…and yet you left them. Why did you leave them? They still need you…'_ Matt ran another red light, barely missing a car in the intersection. Horns blared and people shouted. Matt didn't care. He wasn't angry with L. But he was angry with Kira. Kira had taken L away from Mello. Kira was responsible for the way Mello was now. Kira was responsible for Mello's scarring, his anger and his distrust. Matt had never told Mello how he got his Audi. He never told the blonde about the conversation with L. He felt that L wouldn't want Mello to know. Mello felt betrayed by L. Mello felt abandoned. Matt knew why the blonde was always angry, but he could never reveal to him how much L cared, because he was afraid Mello would break. Matt was supposed to protect Mello, not break him. Matt would do this for both himself and L.

Matt parked the car in the motel's parking lot and proceeded to go up to the room. As he opened the door a controller met his face rather roughly. "You didn't even leave a note!" shouted Mello. His eyes were burning and he was breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry." Matt never bothered with excuses. He hated confrontation anyway. Mello's eyes brightened. The blonde threw himself into the other. Their arms wrapped tightly around each other. Mello buried his face in Matt's chest.

"Don't leave me like that ever again." Mello's voice was muffled by Matt's shirt. Matt smiled and stroked Mello's hair.

"I won't. I promise."

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Review please? Also if there is anyone who would like to critique this I'd be extremely grateful.


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